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…while other times I love it. Makes sense right?

For the past month, my life has just been one huge roller coaster, and right now, I’m not sure it’ll end just yet (the drama not my life, yeesh!). Earlier this month, I got into a car accident. My car of 2 years, which would have been paid off the beginning of the next year, was announced a total loss by my auto insurance provider. This is where my drama started.

I officially broke up with my boyfriend right after. After one whole year of the good and the bad, it became nasty and ended all in one terrible day. I was completely heart broken. Add this to the stress of not having a car and going back and fourth with lawyers, car insurance, and tricky lien holders, it was just spelling out disaster.

For about a week, I went into my own little depression, wondering what the hell I did wrong to be in the position I was in. Second guessing myself and thinking that what people might have said were true and I was merely just blind to it all. I thought of the most ugliest things in that time and I felt bad afterward seeing my mother and friends feeling bad for me as well.

If its one thing in life I absolutely hate, its that of people feeling bad for me or being a part of my problems. I know sometimes its not so healthy to keep things bottled up or the burden put completely on your shoulders, but with what I’ve gone through in life and my experiences, I can’t help it. I just don’t want people to throw things back in my face later on or expect me to BE THERE for them, because they were there for me. Don’t get me wrong, I’ll always try to help others out as much as I can (contradicting, huh?), but for someone to nastily think that I OWE them because they did a small favor for me…even when I didn’t ask for it, or told them not to, they still expect it and not in a nice way either, is what I hate the most! Sadly, this has happened to me on one too many occasions.

In the end though, I have to thank my family and friends for their encouraging words. If not for them, I would probably still be thinking so poorly of myself and for no good reason. I know who I am, I mean, I would sure hope so after 21 years of living. Only I know who I truly am and what I believe. Others cannot tell me what THEY think I am just because it is what THEY believe. Only I can define myself.

After much thought and getting back on my feet, I noticed things to turn around for the good. Like they say, when one door closes, another opens, and I believe this to be very true. I’ve made a lot of stupid decisions in my life, have let certain things pass me by, while I was blinded by just wasn’t right, but not anymore. I’m proud to be who I am and although life loves to give me lemons, all I can do is well…make lemonade!

I just hope that with all that has happened and with what I know now and the freedoms I have, that I will make the right decisions from here on out and live my life the way I want and to the fullest! In the end, that’s what life’s all about, right?

That’s right! I’m currently sitting in a large computer room, in a beautiful house, just atop a hill in Puerto Rico. For those of you who don’t know (which may be many) I’v been “vacationing” here in PR since the 15th. One of the main reasons I came here was to visit and meet family I had never before seen or knew of. The other reason being because my mother and her friends were going to have a big ole meet up here to talk about past times and hang out (oh joy). So far, my trip has been quite pleasant, and if I could, I would stay forever!

I’ve pretty much been throughout the whole island, visiting family and friends here and there and staying at more houses then I count (ok not literally). While fun and adventerous, it gets a little tiresome, so I’m glad I could be able to sit here and write this out.

I’ve taken quite a few video shots, since I wasn’t able to bring my camera (the battery died and I didn’t have time to get a new one) so I have my trusty video camera. Maybe later I’ll upload the clips to YouTube or something and post them up for all to see my horrible shaky-hand (while in the car and walking) shots of this wonderful island. Haha, I’m sure you’ll love it.

Well, I just wanted to let the loyal few know I wasn’t dead in some ditch (God forbid!) and also blog a little about what I was doing on my “vacation”. I’m sure I have a lot of catching up to do when I get back to the states. So I await those new blog posts! Ciao!

Usually people write about this at the beginning of the year as resolutions, but I like to be fashionably late. =P

Go back to school: A personal goal I set for myself and so far have 95% completed. I have already paid the application fee and just need to send send proof of my residence! After that, I need to take the CPT (college placement test) and register for classes for the fall! If you’re wondering, I will be attending Valencia Community College. It’s cheap, an excellent school, and exactly what I need to raise my GPA!

Get a job: I’ve been applying EVERYWHERE like crazy! For now, I’m not too worried where I work, but I have been avoiding anything that has to do with food. Since I’ll be starting school in the fall, I’m not to hell bent on getting a full-time position. Of course, if the opportunity presents itself and is well worth it, I’ll go for it.

Start a business: For a while now I have been trying to start my own web design business. It’s a little dream of mine to actually have one huge multimedia company, but I need to start somewhere. Web design of course was the first thing in mind. Currently I have a few friends who I know I can trust to help me and have some excellent skills in their own respected fields, I just need to know where to start. I’m actually starting to research of all this now and hope to maybe have something going by the end of the year. Wish me luck!

Move out: This has been a great topic for posts on my blog for a while now. I always say I’m going to move out, but something always ends up happening that hinders that idea. I NEED to move out and asap! I just need the finical stability to do so…and possibly a roommate or two. Hopefully when I get a new job, I can work towards this goal.

For now, these are my major goals for 2009 and I really hope that I will be able to fulfill them before the year ends. I just need patients, smarts, and a whole lot of luck!

PS: I was tagged by LingLingfor the “What’s in My Bag?” game. I currently don’t use a purse/bag and just happily have a Chanel wallet with everything I need inside. My cellphone has a pocket case that fits on the side of my belt buckle or pant pocket and I usually hold my keys or attach them to my belt loop. So, not much need for a purse, unless of course it’s that time of the month or I’m going somewhere fancy.

I totally fail at this game!